Looking Ahead Looking Behind
Posted by Todd Royer on: 2005-09-04 02:50:34
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Looking Ahead Looking Behind
Have you ever argued with someone who's passionate
about a sports team? Or maybe their passion was for a
hobby and you blundered into a discussion
contradicting something they felt was
unassailable. If you argued, logic didn't really win
the day. Passion just doesn't work that way. All the
facts in the world won't change a true believer's
mind. The best you can hope for is an agreement to
disagree, or a truce of silence.
People have feelings about all kinds of things,
not just hobbies and sports. Learning to identify
passions, both your own and others, is a
critical skill for career development. One of the
tricks to understanding what someone else feels
strongly about is to find out what they are looking
forward to, and what they have done in the past. In
other words, start looking ahead and looking
behind. This happens naturally in
conversation. When people talk they tend to drift
towards the future or back to the past. It's a logical
approach to feelings and yet, feelings are not
logical.
For example, last year I introduced my friend,
Phil, to my brother, Jack. As it turns out, my
brother's a passionate baseball fan and my friend's a
part-time professional baseball scout for the Chicago
Cubs. Once my brother learned Phil was a professional
scout, the first question out of Jack's mouth was: how
long have you been doing that? We talked for another
ten or fifteen minutes with lots of detailed baseball
questions, but it wasn't long before Jack again asked
Phil: are you going down to Spring Training in March?
In the course of fifteen minutes my brother had
questioned Phil about both the past and the future.
Their passion for baseball was clear. By discussing
both the past and future of their common interest,
they signaled that passion to each other.
You'll find it's the same with everyone else. If they
have strong feelings, whether negative or positive,
asking about the past and the future will give you a
read on their commitment to this area of
interest…whatever it is. The flip side of this
is: when you hear someone talking about the past or
the future, you can assume there's some kind of an
emotional connection to whatever's being
discussed. If you hear your boss talking about how
they used to do things, you might want to ask how he
fells about the old way. You may learn something.
© by Todd Royer. All Rights Reserved.
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Todd Royer has been writing for the internet
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A list of Career Development articles by Todd Royer are
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About the Author
Todd Royer is a seasoned career development specialist. He is experienced in managing organizational growth by recruiting competent confident people. Currently he is Senior Partner at DiscoveryTech, Technical Recruiting.