Humor Articles & News
What Is Mesothelioma Lung Cancer?
Mesothelioma Lung Cancer, also known as Pleural Mesothelioma Cancer, is caused by a change in the Mesothelioma cells that normally provide a protective coating around the Lungs. When the Mesothelioma cells become cancerous, they begin to change and form white nodules and later form into tumor clumps.
What Is Asbestos Cancer?
Asbestos Cancer, also known as Mesothelioma Cancer, is one of the common diseases that are a result of exposure to Asbestos related substances. These Asbestos substances contain Asbestos fibers, which can enter a person’s body through the mouth, or through the skin, causing a slow Mesothelioma Cell Cancer to develop.
Mesothelioma Compensation
If you or, someone you know, has been diagnosed with, or has been showing the symptoms of Mesthelioma Cancer, you should consider seeking compensation. Being diagnosed with Mesthelioma Cancer means that at some stage in your life you have been exposed to Asbestos substances.
A Few Tips On Comic Book Bags
Comic Book Backing Boards come in different thicknesses and acid-free properties. The basic purpose for using a backing board is to give the comic some stiffness, which helps keep the comic pages from bending, creasing or wrinkling. When a backing is placed in the center of the comic it protects the comic book spine from crushing. The second purpose for using a backing board in a comic is its potential to neutralize acid in the comic book paper. Acid in the paper that the ...
I Left My Toes In Tuktoyaktuk
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005 I LEFT MY TOES IN TUKTOYAKTUK -- Or, Tittynoping Tales from a Tavern Fox -- Theolonius McTavish, a trivial talkingstock (an Old English term for an object of conversation) who inevitably forgets the punch-lines to knock-knock jokes and consequently is rarely offered free drinks by pub patrons unless they are woebegone and desperate for the companionship of a somewhat cabobbled, copper-nosed cronk (i.e. a mystified, jolly-nosed, gossiping ...
A Tale Of The Hunt
My good friend Brian and I love hunting. We’ve been chasing the elusive Whitetail deer all across the fields and woodlands of our home state of Massachusetts. Now, Massachusetts isn’t regarded as a great hunting state, but there are deer here, you just have to gain access to the privately held lands that are a goldmine for hunting. This is what happens when two guys with a knack for getting into trouble stumble upon a supposed good thing.
Brazen Backyard Blunders
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. BRAZEN BACKYARD BLUNDERS -- Or, how to avoid doing things you shouldn’t being doing in your backyard -- By Aphrodite Beamish, a half-witted, hey-nonny-nonny harridan and makeover maven of bliss-challenged, breathtakingly bewildering if not botched-up backyards of America The dog days of summer are clearly upon us, judging from the plethora of pesky pets and people gadding about in the nooky-conscious neighborhoods of America. ...
Jobs For The Jolly-minded
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. JOBS FOR THE JOLLY-MINDED -- Or, Oxymoron Occupations For the Faint of Heart -- By Theolonius McTavish, a certified four-leaf clover grower, a vicarious fast-living/slow-eating consultant, and babbling Blarney-kissing protocol advisor from across the pond (who simply adores jumping into his SuperStud spandex bodysuit on the least little whim) Scrolling through my on-line source of stuff and nonsense (masquerading as “headline” ...
Turkeys: Both Men And Bird And A Peanutbutter Power Bar
It was a glorious spring morning (5:35AM) as Brian and I set forth into the Berkshires to hunt the ever elusive and weary Wild Turkey. We had our slate calls, our gobbling devices and every other sort of Turkey call or lure under the sun. We set up in a higher elevation where we had discovered some positive sign the prior day during our prescouting expedition. Hunting Turkey with a longbow is a difficult challenge. Turkey’s eyes are well equipped to detect even the most subtle of movement. We ...
The Heat, The Couch And The Male Ego
The heat, the couch and the male ego It’s been hot here in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts. The only thing worse than New England heat is the God awful saturation point humidity that always has to accompany it. I walked out of the office last night and it was like wading into a sauna. The vapor columns of moisture were visible hovering over the ground like steamy ghosts waiting to unleash every sweat gland on the human body. Naturally, this is the perfect time to move a seven foot ...
Thongs, Computers And Celery.
At first, it might not be easy to make a connection between the three of them, but it is there! Casings: All three have “casings” in common. Generally speaking, a thong is a casing made of fabric. A computer like a thong, can have casings made of many materials. Celery though, is confined by natural and scientific manipulation, in its casing material. It doesn’t end there. All three can be wired, washed and whittled. Colours depend on available pigments but have some flexibility. ...
It's Awesome August Again!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. IT'S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN Or, what else did you think it was? **Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon August, the eighth month of the year, is to put it bluntly …the worst of a long, hot summer or more likely the armpit of an incredibly sweltering one. If you're in a quandary about why a cow would want to jump over the moon, who let the screaming meemies loose, and where the damn dog ran ...
Tales of a Spectator Spectator
Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race .
When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan
It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem strange to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me...
Space, and the Room for It
Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it. I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs. With good timing though, I used my head and saved my legs. Anyway, I'm a long time looking and can see nothing in space worth a damn. What would keep it up? Some viagra from venus? I don't think ...
25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet
A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet:
Canoodling With A Canuck In A Canoe
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. CANOODLING WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOE --Or, Welcome to Climax, Saskatchewan! Canada is a pretty straight-laced, peaceful place, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day, except for eleven and a half months of the year affectionately called "winter", (when everyone goes inside for a break from the bugs, barking dogs, or far too many exposed bosoms and buttocks -- euphemistically referred to as "bare essentials"). So, one ...
Get A Grip - Granny's Back In Town!
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. GET A GRIP - GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN! -- Or, Go Granny Go! -- According to Webster, (a wicked if not witless wordsmith), a “granny” is “a fussy person”. Others refer to her as a "Shrew", a "Sourpuss" or possibly a "Supreme Snit-Face". Clearly, “granny” ranks right up there together with all the other pejorative terms used to describe women of a certain age as being “a hag”, “a harridan” or just “a handful”. With few endearing qualities or redeeming ...
The Six-year-old Truck Driver
When he was six my little brother Davie graduated from driving toy trucks to driving the real thing. He persuaded Daddy to let him drive the truck -- alone -- across the fields of our Montana farm and around the farmyard. Davie knew all about truck driving by then. He had seldom missed a movement Daddy or Grandpa made while driving.
Little Guy On Wheels
Mamma was a strong believer in heredity, and she believed our family’s German heritage predisposed us to two things: hard work and stubbornness. The gene for hard work lay pretty low in us kids while we were growing up, but stubbornness kicked in fast.
Space Exploration, And The Room For It!
Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it. I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs. With good timing though, I used my head and saved my legs.
The Guy Who Wished He Was A Fly
You should be careful what you wish for. I know this because I knowed a guy who always used to wish he was a fly. He wished he was a fly so he could buzz around and go in peoples houses and listen on to what they was saying without them knowing he was there. He always would say, “I wish I could be a fly on the wall when those two are talking”, and he would spend a long time wishing he could be a fly and thinking about what it would be like to be a fly.
The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1
Have you ever heard that saying, “The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as “Show-biz,” don’t you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I’m not talking about the theatre or TV. I’m talking about the “Restaurant-biz.” Servers, bartenders, hostesses, and restaurateurs act on a daily business. Their performance is crucial! Every movement, every word, every bite is an integral part of the ...
Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise
While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way.
A Word About intelligent Shoes And Dumb Souls
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS -- Or, Boosting Your Boots' IQ ...But Still Running Around in Circles? -- **By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian linguist from the University of Ecum Secum in Old Sweat, Nova Scotia (with an abiding interest in the history of fetish footwear, how an Old Mother managed to raise her brood in a shoe, and why one sportswear company decided to market an “intelligent” sneaker in a world full of ...
Tranni D'electric And Why Men Are Such Pleasant Pigs!
My daddy always said that men are great with a shovel. My mammy always said that women are great at emotional issues. I say that men are pleasant pigs and women are pleasant pig observers.
How To Canoodle With A Canuck In A Canoe
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. HOW TO CANOODLE WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOE --Or, Welcome to Climax, Saskatchewan! Canada is a pretty straight-laced, peaceful place, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day, except for eleven and a half months of the year affectionately called "winter", (when everyone goes inside for a break from the bugs, barking dogs, or far too many exposed bosoms and buttocks -- euphemistically referred to as "bare essentials"). ...
A Moron's Account Of 4th Grade.
Ah looking back on 4rth grade, it was not my favorite grade, 3erd grade was my favorite grad butt when I think about all the grades I had in school 4rth grade was not a bad grade. My teacher for 4rth grade was Mister Tony, he was a very smart and very nice teacher and he was also the biggest teacher in all my grades.
Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.
Mexican Spaminator
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam—as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).